Father’s are special, aren’t they? There’s no one else like ‘em… Here’s what 3 kids had to say, bragging on their dads:
First: My dad’s so smart he can talk for one hour on any subject.
Second: My dad’s so smart he can talk for two hours on any subject.
Third: My dad’s so smart he can talk for 3 hours and doesn’t even need a subject!
My dad’s better than your dad … is the game we so often love to play. Why? Because fathers are special, aren’t they?
Paul must have thought that dads were pretty special, too … as he took most of today’s section of scripture to speak to the fathers—a little bit to the kids, a little bit to the moms, but mostly to the dads… Listen to our scripture lesson for today (Ephesians 5:1-2, 21, 25-33 – TEV):
1 Since you are God’s dear children, you must try to be like him. 2 Your life must be controlled by love, just as Christ loved us and gave his life for us as a sweet-smelling offering and sacrifice that pleases God. … 21 Submit yourselves to one another because of your reverence for Christ. … 25 Husbands, love your wives just as Christ loved the church and gave his life for it. 26 He did this to dedicate the church to God by his word, after making it clean by washing it in water, 27 in order to present the church to himself in all its beauty—pure and faultless, without spot or wrinkle or any other imperfection. 28 Men ought to love their wives just as they love their own bodies. A man who loves his wife loves himself. 29 (None of us ever hate our own bodies. Instead, we feed them, and take care of them, just as Christ does the church; 30 for we are members of his body.) 31 As the scripture says, “For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and unite with his wife, and the two will become one.” 32 There is a deep secret truth revealed in this scripture, which I understand as applying to Christ and the church. 33 But it also applies to you: every husband must love his wife as himself, and every wife must respect her husband.
As I’ve mentioned before, there is no greater gift a father can give his children … than to love his wife as God has called him to! The overriding theme of Paul here is … submission; there is to be ‘a mutual submission’ present in every Christian home, between moms & dads in particular—submitting to live and love how God has asked us to! And the submission that is a father’s responsibility is ‘a submission of love!’ Fathers are to submit to love those in the household the way God has loved them—with an agapé or unconditional love. So let’s look at that LOVE right now; first, let’s look at…
THE MEANING OF LOVE. In Verse 21, Paul explains what the meaning of this love in the household is supposed to be all about: “Submit yourselves to one another [italics mine] because of your reverence for Christ.” Now, this kind of love—the kind that willingly submits to one another—is about these things:
• Being Spirit-filled.
Ephesians 5:18 says, “Do not get drunk with wine, which will only ruin you; instead, be filled with the Spirit.” We can be ‘under the influence’ of many different things in this world (Paul gives one example), but the best thing we can be ‘under the influence’ of is the Holy Spirit—allowing our lives to be controlled by God in this way, to be models of the love of Christ in our homes. And we can’t do this without the help of God’s Spirit (Charleston, SC, church)—so we have to allow ourselves to be ‘spirit-filled’! Then there’s…
• Submission.
Verse 25 tells us, “Husbands, love your wives just as Christ loved the church and gave his life for it.” Again, it’s to be a mutual submission of love—loving one another as Christ loves us! Then…
• Understanding ‘head-ship’.
1 Corinthians 13 is a great model for what the ‘head’ of the family ought to be like (following Christ as the ‘head’ of the Church). Do you remember 1 Corinthians 13? Love is patient; love is kind, etc.—one of the best examples of who a husband/father should be in the household. So, the husband/father is to … love & serve her … to protect her (& family) & provide for their needs and so forth. His duty—in short—is to love those whom God has entrusted to him … so, what’s that supposed to look like? Let’s look now at…
THE MANNER OF LOVE. Verse 23 (MSG) says it this way: “The husband provides leadership to his wife the way Christ does to his church, not by domineering but by cherishing.” So, how’s that? In what way does Christ provide leadership to the Church (his bride), if that’s our model? Well…
• It is a sacrificial love that involves…
Consideration – 1 Peter 3:7 tells us, “In the same way you husbands must live with your wives with the proper understanding that they are more delicate than you. Treat them with respect, because they also will receive, together with you, God’s gift of life. Do this so that nothing will interfere with your prayers.” How we treat those God’s entrusted to us—wife and family—will even affect our prayer life; consider that! Then there’s…
Chivalry – If our wives are more delicate than we are (created that way), we need to be their protectors. ‘More delicate’ refers to our physical differences—the way God created us. A loving husband would never say: “After you’ve changed that flat tire, I’ll take you to the store.” We are created to serve our wives (& families) with our strength. It’s also a sacrificial LOVE in this way: In our relationships, there has to be…
Communion – Spiritually, we are equals; treat your wife as a spiritual equal, as joint heirs in God’s grace! Also…
• It is a purifying love. Verses 25-27 explain, “Husbands, love your wives just as Christ loved the church and gave his life for it. 26 He did this to dedicate the church to God by his word, after making it clean by washing it in water, 27 in order to present the church to himself in all its beauty—pure and faultless, without spot or wrinkle or any other imperfection.” Christ’s love for the Church drives him to make her pure and keep her pure; he wants to ‘clothe the Church in God’s glory!’ Gentleman, we shouldn’t ever be caught leading our wives (or families) down any path that is away from God; instead, we should be working to keep them aligned with the Word of God, serving a priestly role in our homes, keeping our families on a ‘God-path’. Then…
• It is a caring love. Verses 28-30 share this: “Men ought to love their wives just as they love their own bodies. A man who loves his wife loves himself. 29 (None of us ever hate our own bodies. Instead, we feed them, and take care of them, just as Christ does the church; 30 for we are members of his body.)”
Have you ever wondered why men spend so much time in the bathroom in the mornings? Have you seen a man look into the mirror in the morning? And, look … and look … and look? And flex and… Well, you get the picture. A husband should love his wife like that! Also…
• It is an enduring love. Verse 31 of Ephesians 5 tells us, “As the scripture says, ‘For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and unite with his wife, and the two will become one.’” When a man & woman get married scripture says ‘they become one’—primarily speaking of a physical union that takes place. But, have you heard the saying, “If Mama ain’t happy, ain’t nobody happy!”? To be a fulfilled husband, you need a fulfilled wife; to be a fulfilled father, you need fulfilled children!
Let me explain a little more: The good ol’ King James Version of the Bible uses two words here: Leave & Cleave (definitions). Leaving … means there’s a vital severing of the parent-child relationship that must occur when a couple gets married—not a dishonoring or unloving thing, but a different primary relationship is now formed. Cleaving means: to be glued to another. When young couples try to ‘cleave’ but have forgotten to ‘leave,’ it always creates havoc in a marriage … so both have to take place in order for there to be an enduring love! And that’s what we’re after; and all of this is the MANNER of LOVE… Finally, let’s talk briefly about…
THE MOTIVE OF LOVE. Folks, let me just say again by way of reminder…
• The meaning of love can be summed up in one word—submission.
• The manner of love can be summed up in one word—sacrifice.
But, there’s one more question to be asked: What is the motive of the husband’s love for his wife? What’s behind a husband loving this way? Ephesians 5:32-33 tells us: “There is a deep secret truth revealed in this scripture, which I understand as applying to Christ and the church. 33 But it also applies to you: every husband must love his wife as himself, and every wife must respect her husband.” So, why would husbands love their wives and their families the way God has asked them to? The motive is this: love’s sacredness (in other words … it’s of God)! This is the way Jesus loves the Church! There’s our example… And this is possible because we, as fathers & husbands, have opened up our lives to be filled with God’s Spirit of Love…
So Paul reminds us here that … marriage is to be reflection of Christ and the Church (his bride). It’s referred to as ‘a sacred mystery,’ or a ‘deep secret truth.’ The sacredness of Christ’s Church is linked here to the sacredness of marriage…
• Christ is the heavenly Bridegroom and the Church is his bride…
• Marriage is supposed to reflect this union—to be a mirror image….
Yet, how does it look at times? Like it should—a sacred gift from God? Am I the only one who’s ever taken their marriage for granted? The truth is the Christian husband shows what he thinks of Christ by the way he treats his wife … and then his family! I wish I could go back and re-do certain parts of my life as a husband and father over the years! But, we can’t do that, can we? What we can do, however, is to listen to what we’re hearing today … and put it into action! Our love for those God’s entrusted to us … should honor Christ!
So again, what’s the Christian father’s role? To be a leader in love—to love his wife and his family in the same unselfish, giving and forgiving way Christ has loved him! I know, I know. That’s a tough act to follow. But, with God’s Spirit of Love living in us, fellas … we can set the pace for our families. When it comes to our homes, fathers, let’s let love be the rule of the day… And let’s always do it Jesus’ way…