A Chinese boy who wanted to learn about jade went to study with a talented old teacher. This gentle man put a piece of the precious stone into his hand and told him to hold it tight. Then he began to talk of philosophy, men, women, the sun and almost everything under it. After an hour he took back the stone and sent the boy home. The procedure was repeated for several weeks. The boy became frustrated. When would he be told about the jade? He was too polite, however, to question the wisdom of his venerable teacher. Then one day, when the old man put a stone into his hands, the boy cried out instinctively, ‘That’s not jade!” (Haddon Robinson, Biblical Preaching)
Exactly… And, folks, beyond our teaching the gospel (Good News) of Jesus Christ to our kids, we also need to teach them other things the Bible asks us to. We need to teach them to the point that they know the difference between what’s of God … and what’s not! Again, Deuteronomy 6 is where to begin teaching Godly wisdom to our kids, wisdom for life…
AND, because God also calls us to teach his wisdom to our kids, Proverbs is the perfect place to look to for that… Here is a collection of wisdom sayings, primarily from the wisest man to ever live—King Solomon. It’s a book full of practical wisdom that all who parent need to pass on to their children. Let’s begin with this…
“These are Solomon’s proverbs: Wise children make their fathers proud of them; foolish ones bring their mothers grief.” – Proverbs 10:1 (TEV)
So Solomon teaches … but I need to say this, today, about Solomon (King David’s wise son): Personally, he is an object lesson about the dangers of an inconsistent life! He has great wisdom on relationships … being faithful to one spouse, etc., and yet how many wives did he take? And, how many foreign wives did he take that God told him NOT to intermarry with? Great advice; not so great follow-through…
I had a boss, when I first got into business at the age of 18, who used to tell me this (his favorite saying): “Do as I say … not as I do!” Well, that was interesting. But, there wasn’t much motivation to follow someone who wasn’t willing to put their own advice into action!
In fact, there may be no surer way to make your kids despise & disregard God’s wisdom! Solomon’s instructions to his son were sound, but his personal example basically erased his wise counsel! His own life was inconsistent with his teaching. THERE IS NO GREATER MISTAKE A PARENT CAN MAKE! Genuine biblical wisdom involves not only right thinking, but right living, too; we have to be the example!
So, let’s turn to some of God’s vital lessons for life—lessons that, if learned, will help our children be a blessing to us … as well as being blessed by God! Again, this is wisdom that, if followed, can help their lives; if not, it can absolutely mess up their life… First:
TEACH YOUR CHILDREN TO FEAR THEIR GOD. Proverbs 1:7a (NIV) states: “The fear of the LORD is the beginning of knowledge….” In the Good News Bible, that same passage reads this way: “To have knowledge, you must first have reverence for the LORD. Stupid people have no respect for wisdom and refuse to learn.” Our kids need to be taught a full appreciation for ALL of God’s attributes: both LOVE and HOLINESS, not neglecting to teach about either one… Next,
TEACH YOUR CHILDREN TO GUARD THEIR MINDS. Proverbs 4:23 says, “Be careful how you think [heart = emotions & intellect]; your life is shaped by your thoughts.” In the day that we live in—THE AGE OF THE INTERNET, we need to emphasize this one more than ever … and with a balance! Parents can, and must, protect their children from exposure to the most unsavory aspects of modern media! It’s O.K. to allow our kids to make some choices about what they will watch and listen to … but within boundaries set by parents for their own good… At the same time, it’s almost impossible to ‘guard their minds’ against everything ungodly…
Have you driven down the interstate lately … and looked at the billboards? It was bad enough when my kids were growing up, but I’d hate to answer kids’ questions about some billboards and what they’re advertising … when the kids get to the point where they can read them! There’s some incredibly unsavory topics found on billboards today!
But, as we talked about earlier, isolationism is not the answer to success in parenting; every time we pass one of those billboards and our kids have questions … it’s an opportunity to teach discernment—to teach our kids about what’s right and what’s wrong and … how to ‘guard their minds’ as the Bible teaches… Then, we need to…
TEACH YOUR CHILDREN TO OBEY THEIR PARENTS. Proverbs 1:8 reminds us, “My child, pay attention to what your father and mother tell you.” In other words, heed your parents’ instruction; that’s what a wise person does!
A basic lesson to learn as a disciple of Jesus Christ is to be obedient to all that God asks of us! Folks, how do you think our kids learn this incredible lesson? They learn by first learning to obey their parents; once they have a grasp on that, then being obedient to God becomes second nature…
Parents must teach their children obedience! This is by no means an optional aspect of parenting! The obedience they come to know in their relationship with God … begins in the home. And, yes, it may involve discipline (chastening) from time to time, for discipline helps conform their minds to wisdom…
Zig Ziglar—that salesman & motivational speaker extraordinaire, as well as a successful parent and grandparent—was once asked his secret to successful parenting … and his answer was: “Spank your kids and take them to church!” Two very important aspects of parents teaching Godly wisdom to their kids … discipline (chastening) and keeping them under the teaching of God’s word…
Spanking (chastening), biblically folks, was never intended to be retribution, administered out of sheer anger or exasperation; rather, the discipline (chastening) the Bible talks about is always administered with and tempered by … LOVE. But, it is mentioned (Proverbs 19:18) … and is an important part of the process of teaching our kids wisdom for life!
TEACH YOUR CHILDREN TO CHOOSE THEIR FRIENDS … WISELY. Solomon writes (Proverbs 13:20) – “Keep company with the wise and you will become wise. If you make friends with stupid people, you will be ruined.” Or, as my mom always put it plainly: “Choose your friends wisely!” It matters … because all of us have a tendency to be influenced by who we hang out with … and so do our kids!
Folks, here’s yet another opportunity to teach our kids discernment… Parents must take the offensive on this one! It is so important because this behavior carries over into adulthood … and can affect us all of our lives! Also,
TEACH YOUR CHILDREN TO CONTROL THEIR DESIRES. In Proverbs 2:16-19, Solomon waxes poetically in describing the severity of necessity here: “You will be able to resist any immoral woman who tries to seduce you with her smooth talk, 17 who is faithless to her own husband and forgets her sacred vows. 18 If you go to her house, you are traveling the road to death. To go there is to approach the world of the dead. 19 No one who visits her ever comes back. He never returns to the road to life.”
The wise parent recognizes that all adolescents develop powerful passions that can eventually lead to their downfall, unless they learn to control those inner desires! Being intentionally blunt, let me say this: Fornication often brings a lifelong reproach.
- Many lives have been utterly destroyed by a single act of unfaithfulness…
- The spouse of one who’s been unfaithful may find it forever impossible to regain the trust once known…
- Even if the offense is forgiven and the marriage saved, a measure of distrust often lingers for life…
Do you see why this is so important to teach to our kids? Again, as parents … genuine biblical wisdom involves not only right thinking, but right living, too; we have to be a Godly example for our kids… All of that being said, though, the gift of God, many times, is the second chance; let’s take that chance and teach our kids right! If we teach our kids not to walk where it’s slippery, we minimize the chances that they’ll fall…
TEACH YOUR CHILDREN TO WATCH THEIR WORDS. Proverbs 4:24 (MSG) tells us, “Don’t talk out of both sides of your mouth; avoid careless banter, white lies, and gossip.” Parents need to teach their children to watch their words… Words are powerful: Words can make someone feel ten feet tall … AND, words can tear someone down so that they feel like nothing at all!
AND, let’s take special notice of Proverbs 12:22 – “The LORD hates [loves less] liars, but is pleased with those who keep their word.” It didn’t happen often, but even when I think about lying … the taste of soap comes to mind! Anyone else had that experience?
Teach your children to watch their words; there’re certain uses of those words (like lying) that God absolutely despises! Let’s even surrender our vocabulary to God…
TEACH YOUR CHILDREN TO LOVE THEIR NEIGHBORS. Proverbs 3:27-29 teaches, “Whenever you possibly can, do good to those who need it. 28 Never tell your neighbors to wait until tomorrow if you can help them now. 29 Don’t plan anything that will hurt your neighbors; they live beside you, trusting you.”
The command to love one’s neighbor was a fundamental tenet of Moses’ Law (Lev. 19:18): “Do not take revenge on others or continue to hate them, but love your neighbors as you love yourself. I am the LORD.” The command to love your neighbor was also 2nd on Jesus’ list of greatest commandments (Matthew 22:39)…
Folks, teaching wisdom to our kids all begins with Deuteronomy 6:5—the greatest of commandments, according to Jesus:“Love the LORD your God with all your heart, with all your soul, and with all your strength.” How do we do that? First we LOVE GOD … putting God first in our lives in all that we are and all that we do. Then, that love is manifested in how we LOVE PEOPLE. And, if we learn to LOVE PEOPLE out of our LOVE for GOD, then we will serve them with our whole lives … including our neighbors. Teach your children this Godly wisdom … so they’ll know the difference between what’s of God … and what’s NOT … and they’ll be the blessing to you that God has intended…!