For the past couple of weeks, we’ve been in a worship series that celebrates the life of those who are committed to God and it’s called ‘Fully Engaged’. The first week, we talked about being fully engaged in our walk with God. That’s where it has to all begin. Then, last week, we talked about being fully engaged with our church—what it means to fully engage with God as the Body of Christ or the Bride of Christ (the church known as both)…

And we began with a scripture that’s been and will be our theme throughout this short series: 2 Chronicles 16:9a says,

“The eyes of the LORD search the whole earth in order to strengthen those whose hearts are fully committed to him….”

So our definition of being ‘fully engaged’ is this: having God as our primary source of strength in our lives. God searches the whole earth to find those who are fully engaged with him; then, he offers them his strength … for every day … for every situation … for every corner your life turns. And one of the ways God strengthens the lives of those who are fully committed to him or fully engaged with him is through … friendships. What a gift that is!

So this week, we move to talk about the importance of friendship—being fully engaged with God even in our friendship with others. Folks, friendship is so important. What does that look like in your life? Friendships, folks, are how God strengthens our lives and how God helps us through even our toughest days. So how important are friendships in your life?

Let me begin with this today: God created us to need friends! God created us to need others in our lives. And when those relationships are not quite right, there’s usually a big emptiness in our lives … and that emptiness is called loneliness. And when we’re not fully engaged with friends, we feel lonely… The fact is, loneliness hits all of us; it doesn’t matter if we’re married, or work with wonderful people, or if we live our day-to-day lives in the midst of a crowd of people. Loneliness hits all of us at some time or another. Has anyone else here ever felt ‘invisible’ at times?

But, folks, loneliness is not an end result; loneliness is but a symptom of something deeper. Loneliness is like a ‘warning light’; it’s like the ‘check engine’ light in your car. If you’re driving and that light comes on, it comes on for a reason. You need to get something checked out; there’s a bigger problem and you need to get it checked out! You need to make some kind of change…

So, is your ‘check engine’ light on today—in the area of friendships? Are you dealing with loneliness due to relationships in your life not being quite what they should be? If so, I want to show you, scripturally today, just how God uses friendship to strengthen those who are fully committed to him—have a desire to be fully engaged with him. Folks, let’s get right to today’s lesson and move to this: 5 ACTIONS TO ENGAGE MY FRIENDS THIS WEEK. These are 5 things you can actually put into practice this week to help you be strengthened by God’s gift of friendship. Here’s #1…

Put yourself in a position to meet people. So many people tell me that they’re lonely, yet sit at home or in their room and rarely step out to meet others. My mom used to tell us kids, if you want friends, you have to be a friend! It’s that simple … and it’s that hard sometimes, but it’s true! It’s so important, though, to put yourself in a position where you meet new people…

We haven’t officially moved into working the Small Group System here at Grace UMC/Dodgeville UMC, but many churches have developed a system for small groups in their churches. And one of the main reasons they do this is for fellowship—to help put people in a position to meet new people … in a safe environment. And we’re already about this through small groups like UMW circles or the various Bible study opportunities we offer here… They are safe places to grow in your faith … and also put yourself in a position where you can meet new people…

God wants to use friendships to help strengthen your life, but we have to do our part, too! Folks, this is not something this pastor came up with, or larger churches we know about came up with; this idea is something that goes back to the 1st century, as the early church was already doing this back then… Look at what it says in the NT book of Acts (2:46-47, NLT):

“They worshiped together at the Temple each day [in the large group], met in homes for the Lord’s Supper, and shared their meals with great joy and generosity—47 all the while praising God and enjoying the goodwill of all the people [in the small group]. And each day the Lord added to their fellowship those who were being saved.”

So, even back in the earliest of days of the Church, God’s people were gathering together to connect with others and grow in their faith. So, the first action to being fully engaged with my friends is to be sure I put myself in a position of being with people… The second action is this (and this one is my favorite):

Provide encouragment. This is so important to being fully engaged with our friends…

There are really only two types of people in this world, when it comes to ‘friends’. First, there are those who add value to your life; when you’re with them, you sense this. They make you feel better about yourself. They motivate you in positive ways. They challenge you to become a better person than you are…

Then, there’re those people in your life who call themselves ‘friend’, but they just suck the life right out of you whenever they’re around. You know what I’m talking about; you just dread it when you see them coming toward you. Every time they’re around, you feel worse about yourself, and about your situation…

You know what I’m talking about, don’t you? Two types of people in the world: there are encouragers and there are discouragers. And we have both of those kinds of people in our lives…

Now, listen to this—and I’m going to flip this idea over just a bit: WE are either an encourager or a discourager … to others! And some of us are both, from time to time, depending on our situation…

The Bible is clear about this, however. If we want to be fully engaged with our friends, we need to be encouragers! The NT gives us a great example of this. There was a guy named Joseph who was such an encourager, his friends gave him a nickname. Acts 4:36 (NLT) tells us:

“For instance, there was Joseph, the one the apostles nicknamed Barnabas (which means ‘Son of Encouragement’)….”

Now, I know this area (Ridgeway/Dodgeville) well enough to know that just about everyone who was born & raised here has a nickname—at least in their circle of friends. But, what if we had a nickname based on the fact that we were such a great encourager? ‘Your name is Joseph, but we’re going to call you Barnabas, son of encouragement, because you are such an encouraging person!’ That’s who the one we know as Barnabas really was—especially an encourager to Paul on the early missionary journeys and the birth of the Church as we know it today…

Folks, God wants us to be ‘sons and daughters of encouragement’ to the people in our lives, not discouragers! Let’s look quickly at 3 ways we can be a Barnabas to those around us:

• Through your words. The #1 way we encourage or discourage others is through the words we speak to them. Words, frankly, can either be a tool to build people up … or a weapon to tear people down. We have to decide how to use our words. Let me remind you of some words of Jesus that may just affect how we do this (Matt. 12:36-37):

“And I tell you this, you must give an account on judgment day for every idle word you speak. 37 The words you say will either acquit you or condemn you.”

Why was Jesus so strong on words? Because, as my mom used to say, ‘Whatever rolls off your tongue, is generally found in your heart.’ Jesus knew they weren’t just words; this was a heart issue! So, are my words encouraging to others, or do I tear people down with the words I speak? We can also be a Barnabas to those around us…

• Through acts of kindness. Acts of kindness are a great way to encourage friends—something as simple as a card, an invitation to dinner, or giving them something to drink … even when they haven’t asked for it. What’s an act of kindness you can do for a friend in this coming week? We can also be a Barnabas to those around us…
• By just listening. Taking the time to listen to a friend when they need to talk is one of the greatest gifts you can give anyone. Not just saying ‘How ya’ doing?’ and then moving on as if you didn’t really want an answer, but showing them you really care by taking the time to focus on them. Do you make time to listen to people in your life? If you’re an encourager, you will.

It’s not O.K., folks, to be a discourager. In fact, it’s a sin. Paul’s words in 1 Thessalonians 5:11a tells us, “So encourage each other and build each other up….” Folks, be a Barnabas, would you? Be an encourager! Be a son or daughter of encouragement! That’s what God wants us to be. Thirdly, we need to:

Play together. And by that, I mean … having fun together—enjoying a shared activity! This is yet another way of being fully engaged with your friends. And I’m thinking specifically about men when I say ‘play together’; let me explain (in general)…

Do you know how women most often connect with their friends? Through words—verbal communication… Women connect with others most often by having discussions with them. They get to know one another and feel close to one another by having conversations…

Not so much with guys. How many guys do you know that display their friendship through deep discussions about their feelings? Guys generally don’t do that! Instead, guys usually bond through shared activities—watching a football game, fishing or hunting, building something or repairing something together … without saying as much as 2 words…

Regardless though, however you have fun, do it together with friends! I think we often overlook the importance of having fun together as God’s way of strengthening and investing in our friendships. Ecclesiastes 8:15 (NLT) tells us,

“So I recommend having fun, because there is nothing better for people in this world than to eat, drink, and enjoy life. That way they will experience some happiness along with all the hard work God gives them….”

And that leads to the 4th action in engaging with our friends to build those relationships. We need to…

Pray specifically for my friends. Folks, prayer is one of the most personal and meaningful actions we could take on behalf of a friend. Pray for them by name … and pray specifically for what they’re going through … for your relationship with them, etc.

Now let me tell you, 2 things happen when you pray specifically for a friend: 1) If you’re a follower of Jesus Christ, the Bible promises that when you pray … God will hear and answer your prayers. [The answer may not be what you want it to be, but you can rest assured that it will be the best for your friend! You can trust God on that!] And 2) not only does our prayers make a difference in the lives of our friends, but it will change us as well! When we pray for our friends, the Holy Spirit works in our life to increase our love for that person … and amazing things come out of that reality…

I want to challenge you this week to pray specifically for a friend, or several friends in your life, and see if these 2 things don’t happen… In Romans 1:9a, Paul starts off his letter to the church in Rome by saying,

“God knows how often I pray for you. Day and night I bring you and your needs in prayer to God….”

And, as we wrap this up today, let me remind you that there is one prayer that you can pray for your friends that may be more important than any other—praying for those friends who do not yet know Jesus personally… So, the 5th action we can take to be fully engaged with our friends is to…

Pursue an opportunity to talk about God. Now, we’ve been talking about how to engage our friends by 1) putting yourself in a position to meet new people, 2) being an encourager, 3) playing together (shared activities), and 4) praying for them. But, if you want to really engage your friends in your life, you need to pursue opportunities to talk to them about God…

Here’s a question: Have you ever thought about where your friends stand with God? Your co-workers, your family, your friends? If you’re a real friend, you will not hesitate to talk about your faith! Why? Because there are eternal consequences involved!

Now, I’m not talking about being obnoxious or beating someone up with words or even being judgmental. I’m talking about praying for opportunities to talk with your friends about their faith. And it begins by doing these 4 things:

1. Be a good friend. My dad used to call this ‘friendship evangelism’. But, basically it’s just being a good friend. After doing all of the other things we’ve talked about today, just be a good friend…
2. Let your friends know that you’re a Christian. You’re not beating them over the head with it, but you let them know you’re a Christian by the way you live. It may be kind of a WWJD (What would Jesus do?) thing. If the opportunity arises and topics like prayer or attending church come up in conversation, just let ‘em know that you’re ‘fer’ it…
3. Pray for them. Pray that God would draw them to himself and that God would provide a natural opportunity for you to talk to them about your faith. Pray for them … and then…
4. Always be ready to talk about your faith. My father used to say, ‘Be ready to preach, pray or die … on a moment’s notice.’ In the same way, be ready to talk about your faith…

1 Peter 3:15-16 (NLT) says, “…you must worship Christ as Lord of your life. And if someone asks about your Christian hope, always be ready to explain it. 16 But do this in a gentle and respectful way….”

If God were to provide you with an opportunity to make an eternal difference in the life of a friend, would you be ready?

Today, we’ve been talking about what it means to be fully engaged with our friends. But in reality, it was Jesus who gave us the ultimate example of what friendship is supposed to look like. Jesus, as our friend, laid down his life for me and for you. He died on the cross so that we could have a relationship with God. He sacrificed himself so that we could be friends with God. And the Bible says, that is the ultimate example of friendship—the offer of friendship with God that only Jesus could give us…

Here’s another good question, as we wrap up today: Have you accepted Christ’s offer of friendship with God? John 15:12-13 (NLT) tells us,

“This is my commandment: Love each other in the same way I have loved you. 13 There is no greater love than to lay down one’s life for one’s friends.”

That’s how we measure it, folks. Are you ready to fully engage with your heavenly friend? Are you ready to fully engage with your friends?