Father’s are special, aren’t they? There’s no one else like ‘em… Here’s what 3 kids had to say, bragging on their dads:
First: My dad’s so smart he can talk for one hour on any subject.
Second: My dad’s so smart he can talk for two hours on any subject.
Third: My dad’s so smart he can talk for 3 hours and doesn’t even need a subject!
‘My dad’s better than your dad…’ is the game we so often love to play! Why? Because fathers are special; that’s why…
The Apostle Paul must have thought that dads were pretty special, too … as he took most of today’s section of scripture to speak to the fathers—a little bit to the kids, a little bit to the moms, but mostly to the dads … at the church that he’d planted in Ephesus. Listen now to our scripture lesson for today:
21 Submit yourselves to one another because of your reverence for Christ. …25 Husbands, love your wives just as Christ loved the church and gave his life for it. 26 He did this to dedicate the church to God by his word, after making it clean by washing it in water, 27 in order to present the church to himself in all its beauty—pure and faultless, without spot or wrinkle or any other imperfection. 28 Men ought to love their wives just as they love their own bodies. A man who loves his wife loves himself. 29 (None of us ever hate our own bodies. Instead, we feed them, and take care of them, just as Christ does the church; 30 for we are members of his body.) 31 As the scripture says, “For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and unite with his wife, and the two will become one.” 32 There is a deep secret truth revealed in this scripture, which I understand as applying to Christ and the church. 33 But it also applies to you: every husband must love his wife as himself, and every wife must respect her husband. – Ephesians 5:21, 25-33 (TEV)
I have said before, there is no greater gift that a father can give his children … than to love his wife as God has called him to! And Paul is trying to teach the men of this congregation how to do just that… Now, remember, the submission we’re talking about is a ‘mutual submission’—submitting to exactly what God has asked us to do! And, similar to what I said on Mother’s Day, the submission that’s a father’s responsible for is ‘a submission of love!’ Fathers, too, are to submit to love those in the household the way God wants them to—the way God designed them to… Let’s begin with the meaning of this love: What is it? Let’s take time to define it…
THE MEANING OF LOVE that needs to be present in our homes is first explained in verse 21 of today’s text. Paul explains what the meaning of this love in the household is supposed to be all about when he states: “Submit yourselves to one another because of your reverence for Christ.”
Now, this love—as I see it in this scripture—is about these things: First, it’s about being Spirit-filled: Ephesians 5:18 (which comes just prior to our text today) explains in this way: “Do not get drunk with wine, which will only ruin you; instead, be filled with the Spirit.” Just as wine can control us, when ‘under the influence,’ so too are we to be ‘under the influence’ of the Holy Spirit, allowing our lives to be controlled by God—being models of the love of Christ in our homes; we can’t do it without the help of God’s Spirit…
Submission is also what this love is about: Verse 25 says, “Husbands, love your wives just as Christ loved the church and gave his life for it.” Let me just say this at this point: This love is incompatible with the common misinterpretation of this scripture which calls for a domineering, commanding model of the husband/father. I’ll say more about submission in just a moment…
This love is also about understanding head-ship. And, 1 Corinthians 13 is a great model for what the ‘head’ of the family ought to be like. (I challenge all fathers to put your name in place of ‘love’ in this text and see how you’re doing in this area!) Needless to say, the husband who thinks that God ordered the family so that his wife could be at his beck and call has it backward! Rather, he’s to love & serve his wife; he’s to protect her (& family) & provide for their needs; his duty—in short—is to love … so, what does that look like? Let’s describe this love in action as we talk about…
THE MANNER OF LOVE. Verse 23 (MSG) says it this way: “The husband provides leadership to his wife the way Christ does to his church, not by domineering but by cherishing.” So, how is that? In what way does Christ provide leadership to the Church (his bride), if that’s our model? Let me share a few ways that happens…
It is a sacrificial love … and it first involves… consideration. – 1 Peter 3:7 tells us, “In the same way you husbands must live with your wives with the proper understanding that they are more delicate than you. Treat them with respect, because they also will receive, together with you, God’s gift of life. Do this so that nothing will interfere with your prayers.” It’s a love that is considerate, knowing that how we treat our wives will even affect our prayer life; consider that…
This sacrificial love is also about chivalry. If our wives are more delicate than we are (created that way), we need to be their protectors! Understand: If they are weaker, it is in the physical realm, because that’s the way God created us… A loving husband would never say: “After you’ve changed the flat tire, I’ll take you to the store” or something to that affect. We are created to serve our wives (&families) with our strength; that’s how Jesus served (and serves) the Church, his bride…
This sacrificial love is also reflected in the communion we share in Christ. Spiritually, we are equals—both enjoying the grace of God as a gift. So, treat your wife as a spiritual equal, as they too are joint heirs in God’s grace!
As we continue to describe God’s love in action, let me also say that it is a purifying love. Verses 25-27 reminds us: “Husbands, love your wives just as Christ loved the church and gave his life for it. 26 He did this to dedicate the church to God by his word, after making it clean by washing it in water, 27 in order to present the church to himself in all its beauty—pure and faultless, without spot or wrinkle or any other imperfection.”
This scripture suggests that Christ’s love for the Church is something that drives him to make her pure and keep her pure; he wants to ‘clothe the Church in glory!’ Gentleman, we shouldn’t ever be caught leading our wives into sin of any kind—assisting them in getting off of God’s path for their life; instead, we should be working to expose her life to the Word of God, serving a priestly role in our homes … to help keep her and our families pure…
Also, it is a caring love—this love of God that God wants present in our homes. Verses 28-30 help to explain: “Men ought to love their wives just as they love their own bodies. A man who loves his wife loves himself. 29 (None of us ever hate our own bodies. Instead, we feed them, and take care of them, just as Christ does the church; 30 for we are members of his body.)”
Have you ever seen a man look into the mirror in the morning? And, look … and look … and look? And flex and… Well, you get the picture. A husband should love his wife like that!
Finally, it is an enduring love. Verse 31 is key here: “As the scripture says, ‘For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and unite with his wife, and the two will become one.’” When a man & woman get married, scripture says ‘they become one’—primarily speaking of a physical union that takes place…
Let me give you a real life example of what this is talking about. The reality is, what affects one in the household affects all. On my refrigerator is a magnet that my children bought for their mom a long time ago. And, there’s some scriptural truth to the saying on it. It says: “If Mama ain’t happy, ain’t nobody happy!” To be a fulfilled husband, you need a fulfilled wife; to be a fulfilled father, you need fulfilled children! An enduring love is one who understands that we are all interconnected in this way…
Also, the King James Version of the Bible uses two words here: Leave & Cleave. Leaving … means there’s a vital severing of the parent-child relationship that must occur when a couple gets married—not a dishonoring or unloving thing, but a different primary relationship is now formed. Cleaving … literally means ‘to be glued to’ another. Isn’t that the kind of bond that all marriages should experience? However, when young couples try to ‘cleave’ but have forgotten to ‘leave,’ it always creates havoc in a marriage; both have to take place in order for there to be an enduring love!
Folks, as I recap today’s message, let me just say again …
- The meaning of love is summed up in one word—submission.
- The manner of love is summed up in one word—sacrifice.
But, there’s one more question to be asked: What is THE MOTIVE OF LOVE? What is the motive behind a Christian husband’s love for his wife? What’s behind a husband loving this way? It is something that is bigger than you and I; it is something that is bigger than our married life together here; it is something that is not just temporal, but it is eternal. Listen…
Ephesians 5:32-33 informs us: “There is a deep secret truth revealed in this scripture, which I understand as applying to Christ and the church. 33 But it also applies to you: every husband must love his wife as himself, and every wife must respect her husband.”
Why would husbands love their wives the way God has asked them to? The motive is this: love’s sacredness (in other words … it is of God)! Marriage is a picture of Christ and the Church (his bride). It is ‘a sacred mystery,’ a ‘deep secret truth.’ The sacredness of Christ’s Church is linked here to the sacredness of marriage. Christ is the heavenly Bridegroom and the Church is his bride! Marriage is supposed to reflect this union—a mirror image. Yet, how do we end up treating it sometimes? Like a sacred gift from God? (Am I the only one who’s ever taken their marriage for granted?)
The truth is that the Christian husband shows what he thinks of Christ by the way he treats his wife! I wish I could go back and re-do certain parts of my marriage over the years! But, we can’t do that, can we? What we can do, however, is to listen to what we’re hearing today … and put it into play! Our love for our wives should honor Christ!
The husband that understands this … is a husband who will just love to … love, purify, protect, and care for his wife; then, that relationship will be the solid foundation from which he can raise and encourage his kids in Christ…