The world we now live in … is no longer the world as it used to be; it’s much more complicated today:
- What was once right is now wrong; what was once wrong is now right…
- What was once black is now white; what was once white is now black…
- Honoring your parents (as God’s word demands) was once a given in a good majority of homes; now that command of God seems to be optional…
Welcome to our world! Parenting’s not the same activity it once was either. As a matter of fact, I don’t believe there’s ever been a more challenging time to raise kids than today! Parenting’s … a hard job! Yes, a job entrusted by God; but, it’s still a hard job … even with God’s help! Let me share today’s scripture—the Apostle Paul on parenting…
Children, do what your parents tell you. This is only right. 2 “Honor your father and mother” is the first commandment that has a promise attached to it, namely, 3 “so you will live well and have a long life.” – Ephesians 6:1-3 (MSG)
Much of the Old Testament gives insights into the ‘laws of the land’ in the old days, some of them questionable after Christ came. But, this one—laid down in the Ten Commandments (Exodus 20)—is one the Apostle Paul reminds us is still relevant to the Church today: Honor your father and mother … with a promise!
There are 3 major reasons why parenting in today’s world is such a difficult thing to do:
- The corruption all around our kids tends to defile them…
- The curse inside them tends to steer them the wrong way…
- Their own childishness makes them susceptible to many dangers…
We’ve spoken of original sin (#2) previously, along with our kid’s greatest need (regeneration), so today I’m going to concentrate on #1 and #3—two serious reasons why parenting is so difficult in the world today … So, one of the main reasons parenting today is so difficult—that task that God entrusted us with—is because we are about…
TEACHING GOD’S WAYS OF OBEDIENCE IN A REBELLIOUS AGE. In getting to know God’s word, you come to realize that God let us know that this day was coming; in 2 Timothy 3:1-5, the Apostle Paul shares with the young pastor:
“Remember that there will be difficult times in the last days. 2 People will be selfish, greedy, boastful, and conceited; they will be insulting, disobedient to their parents, ungrateful, and irreligious; 3 they will be unkind, merciless, slanderers, violent, and fierce; they will hate the good; 4they will be treacherous, reckless, and swollen with pride; they will love pleasure rather than God; 5 they will hold to the outward form of our religion, but reject its real power. Keep away from such people.” – 2 Timothy 3:1-5 (TEV)
Well, there it is … and we were told a long time ago that this ol’ world would head in this direction some day. Let me see if I can give you a couple of examples of what I’m talking about when I say that one of the difficulties of parenting today is that we are raising our kids in a rebellious age…
Secular society seems bent on teaching children to rebel against authority… (Even those in the larger Church today who seem to be veering from God’s ways seem to have incredible problems with authority, so this bent toward rebellion is really embedded now into our whole society…) Consider this:
- Kids watch an average of 30 hours of T.V. per week; before they graduate from high school, the typical American teen will have watched 20,000 hours of T.V.
- The great majority of programs they watch will portray authority figures as evil and rebellion as a virtue…
- They’ll see all kinds of sin glamorized … lifestyle ‘choices,’ murder, immorality, and drug use will be an essential part of the daily viewing fare—to the point that even the grossest misdeeds no longer even seem shocking!
So, hardened to the sinfulness of sin, over time, and inclined to distrust authority while romanticizing rebellion, our kids are poised to enter into adulthood with very different moral values and radically different worldviews … than anyone in their grandparents’ generation, for sure. Is it any wonder that…
- Ten million kids now have some kind of STD?
- 1 in 5 teenagers uses drugs regularly?
- Nearly 1 million young women, now on the streets, began working there before age sixteen?
- Between 7 and 14 million children under the legal drinking age are already alcoholics?
And, the list could go on and on. All these trends are the fruit of a society that sanctions and glorifies rebellion! Could this be why it’s so difficult to parent today? Along with these realities, and knowing that ‘original sin’ affects all of us, we’re also up against…
COMPENSATING FOR OUR KID’S IMMATURITY. What am I saying? A part of our difficulty in parenting today is that … they’re kids! This isn’t new—this has been around all along … but, here’s what’s different today…
We live in a rebellious world, where authority is ‘poo-poo’d.’ Many say today that ‘the biggest problem with kids … is that their parents are trampling their rights.’ This, folks, is how things go in the midst of a rebellious age—an echo of ‘humanism’ here … which is not a biblical perspective! When scripture talks about the role of children in the family, the stress is on responsibilities, not rights … and every kid’s main responsibility is to obey their parents!
Again, our kid’s basic problem is that … they’re kids! Apart from their natural bent toward sin, they have human weaknesses that are simply a part of … being a kid!
Did you know that even Jesus was a kid once? Scripture’s clear that Jesus grew & learned—his growth/learning as a child not unlike that of other kids…
“Jesus grew both in body and in wisdom, gaining favor with God and people.” Jesus grew intellectually, physically, socially, & spiritually. – Luke 2:52 (TEV)
All children need to grow in these same 4 ways. They’re lacking in wisdom, physical stature, their relationship with others, & their relationship with God, so: Let’s teach our kids, helping them to grow, in these four areas, too!
Help them to grow in wisdom… Have you ever noticed that kids have no discretion; they don’t naturally know what’s good for them … and what’s not! Babies don’t know what’s good for them; they’ll put dirt, insects, or anything into their mouths, won’t they? It is important that they obey their parents … so they know what’s good for them—our opportunity to teach them God’s ways…
Help them to grow in stature… Children are born weak—unable to fend for themselves! Newborns are utterly unable to walk, crawl, or even roll over by themselves. Parents assume the responsibility of feeding them, changing them, making sure they get proper rest (naps), and protecting them from harm; if someone doesn’t do all of that for them, they will die! Slowly, they’ll learn to care for themselves; until then, the parents’ authority over them is part of the umbrella of protection God has given them…
Help them to grow socially… Children have a need to learn some basic social graces.
Children aren’t born socially acclimated; in fact, they’re pretty much born self-centered.
Their only concerns have to do with their needs…
- They cry when they’re hungry…
- They cry when they’re tired…
- They cry when they need changed…
I have never heard a baby cry yet … because their neighbor wasn’t getting along too well! As they grow, they need to be weaned from that self- centered worldview, but that doesn’t happen naturally; they need parents to teach them about others’ needs! Obedience to their parents is the first step toward letting go of that immature, childish self-centeredness…
Help them to grow in relationship to God… Again, kids don’t come to love God naturally; they have to be taught (though it’s more ‘caught’ than ‘taught’) how important our relationship with God is… Pastor John MacArthur puts it this way: “Parental authority is … like a hothouse environment in which a child can grow more safely. If parents do not provide that protection through their authority over the child, all growth—intellectual, social, physical, and spiritual—will be stunted.”
God’s tells us all to honor our fathers & mothers! But, that’s not something that comes naturally; our kids have to be taught! And, for all who parent (no matter who you are), this is the #1 job we have—to teach our kids what God expects, in spite of the world we’re raising them in!
Teaching our kids to be obedient—our #1 job as parents. And, folks, if we can teach them that obedience is at the core of what God wants them to know, their eternal relationship with God will be a good one, too … and they’ll learn to (for you Trekkies) ‘live long and prosper,’ just as God promises. Isn’t that what we really want for our kids?